This construction crew works hard, but we also have plenty of fun. The physical nature of carpentry lends itself to a deadpan, sarcastic brand of humor. Today I’d like to share a few of my favorites, and give you a new angle on what life is like for us. Shouldn’t every job be this great?

Overheard on site:

“Terry, where are your work gloves?”
“They’re built in.”

“OK, time to head to the office.”
-Colin, every morning

On building a house: “It’s basically getting paid to hang out all day at a Crossfit gym.”
-me

When lumber is cut to the perfect size: “Dry fit! No nails required.”
-Terry

When the level indicates a wall is spot-on plumb: “Uh oh. That’s terrible.”
-Colin, and pretty much everyone else

On power tools: “If I don’t know what it’s called, it can’t hurt me!”
-Turner (Editor’s note: this is a misguided belief.)

Words of wisdom from Terry:

“The difference between a framing pencil and a finishing pencil is how well you sharpen it.”

On covering up mistakes: “A little bit of spackle and paint/Make a carpenter what he ain’t.”

More maxims from my roofer/painter friend Tyler:

“The owner can help with the construction, but it’s going to cost you more.”

On sawing lumber: “Keep it as long as possible for as long as possible.”

On worker’s comp: “If you fall off the roof, you’re fired before you hit the ground.”

And finally, here’s Terry with a joke that every builder should keep handy:

A carpenter and his boss are nailing down a roof. The boss notices the carpenter keeps looking at a nail and tossing it away. When he asks why, the carpenter holds one up backwards and says, “These are defective. The head is on the wrong end of the nail.” His boss replies, “You idiot! Save those, we’ll use them when we do the other side!”